Can anyone help me remove my penis from the milk bottle? It got caught after I was caught making love to the UHT CARTON after a skinful the night before. I even ended up sleeping on the skip. Love cumming in the skips
Can I suck you off my mom won't let me my dad has such a bloater of a gut no-one can find his cock and my big brother is so busy wanking himself off behind trees in the local park that he's about as much use as a fart in a bath.
Fun fact! In December of 2017 I have shoved 5216 cotton buds up My arse. Because they were made of plastic back then I still got over 1000 up there. Every time I get a Bbc shoved up my arse I tell the guy to go & pick cotton, because Iβm a racist little twat!
W537 UENSurrey james left his wife for r216hkv 2024-03-23 03:10:35
Caught this absolute plonker rodney spinning donuts around kiddy college car park at like 3 in the morning shouting obscenities and blasting Metal Guru by Marc bolan(???) Sticking his arseout the passenger side window with mcdonalds trays under the rear wheels there was a beige Austin Maestro/Montego (whatever the hatchback version was) and a Dolly Sprint as well owned by a complete crackpot who won't be named (it's Luca Soave)
Hi guys! This is Luca Soave writing on behalf of Daanyaal Hussain (aka CitroenAX) - I've been given the opportunity to waffle about this magnificent, albeit zesty, 2000 Toyota RAV4 Reebok.
The Mk1 RAV4 is a car nobody remembers, not even you. I can guarantee you probably haven't seen one of these earlier pre-facelifts in about 10 years - if you have, they'll have been those strange Maruti things, which populate the middle east like Ford Granada estates with the reg B323 DHB populate the banger track. They're pretty rubbish and don't really have a following.
This example judging by the comments under this reg is owned by a complete spastic who is clearly oblivious to how rare his car really is. There's like 4 of these left in this exact spec and colour.
I finally figured it out - this is basically a Ssangyong Korando under the bonnet, only worse as you can't post it on the Seoul classics Facebook page.
Apologies for the hateful post, a typewriter is easier to write on than this Chinese ahh phone.
Alreeght peeps.
Who wants to fist my shitter or ram large objects up it?
Need some money for baccy, cans of red stripe and porkpies.
I can lick ur bum hole out, fist ya, stick me 3 inches of meat up ur bum hole or cum in ya gob.
I aint fussy and will sleep with anyone, male, female, cat, dog, fish, kidz.
Come on and treat urself init.
Call me Jack - 07907 485659
Yes I'd like to bounce on your one inch. Not that I'd be able to bounce much. Fortunately I have VERY strong lips, your miniscule cock will probably be severed and remain in me forever once I'm done with you.
THIS IS WHAT YOU DESERVE KIDDERMINSTER COLLEGE. I WILL BE LAUGHING IN MY GRAVE AT YOUR DEMISE. HELEN BASNETT WILL FALL TO HER KNEES AND SUCK MY BIG MASSIVE COCK. YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW...
W537 UENDEATH TO KIDDERMINSTER COLLEGE2024-02-23 04:58:21
THERES A CAR BOMB OUTSIDE KIDDERMINSTER COLLEGE WILL BLOW UP RED AUSTIN MAESTRO REG C241GGF IT WILL BLOW UP ON 29 FEB 2023 9AM YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. THIS IS NOT A PRANK. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE ON THIS DAY.
Wicked, wicked, Junglist massive
Wicked, wicked, Junglist massive
Wicked, wicked, Junglist massive
Wicked, wicked, original
Well big up
All the original Junglist massive
The original dancehall junglist dere
General Levy alongside the MBeat
The world is in trouble
Ah what we tell dem murdera
It goes
I am the, incred' incred' Incredible General
Sensational wah dem call me
Incred' incred' Incredible Gene'
Select, selec'lect
Yo
Mad de whole ah dem I spin dem like a windmill
New talk fi dem Gwarn tella dem we got the skill
Dance cyan nice unless we name pon de bill
And the girls hear we voices like dem dreams get fulfil
Massa menimeni passa menimeni colda menimeni chill
Idle we nah sekkle we nah ova da hill
Wah de want come see us say us must be sick and must be ill
Test the daddy MBeat unnu better go write your will
C'mon!
(Lord have mercy)
So wah, booyaka booyaka, when the General ah pass
Booyaka booyaka, MBeat run the dance
Booyaka booyaka, we nah tek back nah talk
Booyaka booyaka, incredible
Me stylee fi pon de mic general treat the general
Get pon brock inna me style
Wicked original
Menimeni brock menimeni skin
Me nah or chat
Menimeni nah send ah
DJ to dem funeral
General Lemenimenime nah pet or pam per
When we come in dancehall hold pon de mic pon dat
To de pinnacle
Looky looky DJ chat in me face me ah go bare chat
Cah we ah get dem critical, critical, critical
Come down
Select, seleclect
Select, seleclect
Sensational
Wah dem call me select, seleclect
Select, seleclect
Sensational, incredible unstoppable
Unbeatable, invincible as beneficial
Respected by man
And loved by gyal
Come me inna de place we get dem (hys) terical
Cah me style is original
Junglist massive, hear dis
So wah
icky icky hmmm
MBeat him come fe mad dem
icky icky hmmm
General him come fe mad dem
Yo mad de whole ah dem I spin dem like a windmill
New talk fi dem Gwarn tella dem we got the skill
Dance cyan nice unless we name pon de bill
And the girls hear we voices like dem dreams get fulfil
Massa menimeni passa menimeni colda menimeni chill
Idle we nah sekkle we nah ova da hill
Wah de want come see us say us must be sick and must be ill
Test the daddy MBeat unnu better go write your will
icky icky hmmm
Wicked, wicked
Bo, bo, bo
icky icky hmmm
Wicked, wicked
(wicked) (wicked) bo bo bo
I am the , incred, incred
Incredible Gene booyaka
Select, seleclect sensational wah dem call me
I am the incred incred
Incredible Gene booyaka
Select, seleclect sensational so wah
Select, select, select, select
Select, select, select, select
Select, select, select, select
Select, select, select, select
Watch out
Talking about General
Unnu must be sick unnu must be fraud
Dis de General
Unnu better pack up and brock
Talking about ya Jah rock
You ah cold like salad
When de MBeat come
Unnu better cock up and brock
Stop play tune
Word pon farm yard
Stand up and we drop it like
Between people cars
You face never wet
We ah still two teachers
Dis de General
You get the critical ward
icky icky hmmm
Wicked, (MBeat ya come fe mad dem) wicked
Put those nice juicy succulent tits in my mouth and take your thongs of and I will put my 7 inch dick in your mouth and Iβll have a big fat boner breasts are my fave btw I am from greater Manchester so suck my ass please I go naked on the street so I can fuck
Did u have a boob job? Nice juicy amazing hygienic boobs I think you should leave them out all the time just for me. Sweaty and lovely I want to lick and play with them all day.
Iβll put my 9 inch in you your boobs are so big and sweaty I donβt think you wear bra Iβll take your thongs off and lick your really tight pussy until I get a boner please twerk in my face dadyy
Yo yo yo It's Humpday! What I need you to do here is tag 3 big dick ass niggas under this tweet right here. I need some more niggas to do this 'Bust That Nut' challenge wit. And I'm also giving away another hunit free subscriptions to my only fans! Be looking out for that tweet later on today. Don't forget to tag them 3 niggas out there. If you one of them big dick niggas, tag yaself! Hump Day! Fuck with ya boy! Nude Barber!
ees me bruvva james, hes got a luvly likkle pink willy. our older sister gemma said shes our mam when we ere we nippers. she is really our mam. bangers!!! without mash
Hey, watch over us, Emperor Selassie I,
Dem ya road rugged and steep.
I know it is a must, for us to make it home,
Even through dem yah gnashing of teeth.
Hey guide over us, Holy Emanuel I,
Fi mi knees could a never get weak.
I know it is a must, for us to make it home,
Through dem yah gnashing of teeth, unno sey it bumbahole
Me ago tell dem
Ey up lads, Horsham Plastering dopey cunt here all your plastering needs plus some extras like zooming in on women's bums and then upstairs for a quite sucky sucky BJ OK? Call me fuckers!!! 07817 936 578
This selfish individual continues to park inches from other peoples cars and then smashes his doors into the cars causing damage. Witnesses have seen him damage, bmws, seats, land rovers, Kiaβs, all his neighbours. These neighbours now know itβs you doing it, so good luck with that.
This Asian lad a Hindu is recruited by bjp Indian government. He attempted to kidnap a schoolgirl today he has been involved in hate crime recently and lives in Leicester.
Tailgating scrubber in their trampy chavved up banger. Cheer up dingus, you might not have a lot going for yourself but at least you have that sweet ride, lol what a laughing stock.
What an arrogant driver. If a car is turning left, they are going to slow down to do so safely. Stop being so childish to beep at them for doing so, just because your attempt to drive around them failed and backfired. You lost a whole 2 seconds of your day.
Road rage idiot doesn't know what a merging lane is then swerves between lanes at a roundabout and brake checks becuase he doesn't like anyone getting past him.
Obscene hand gestures out the window were the icing on the cake. What a mature member of society. At least given his age he'll be dead soon anyway.
Garbage human being. Clearly doesn't want to park in a regular space like the rest of the peasants in case his car gets scratched but plays the victimised old man when people call him out on it.
Driven by an entitled, emotionally fragile bloke who appeared to be in his 70s.
After he cut me up and parked in the parent and child parking space that I was about to park into I saw he didn't have a child in his car. After he and who I assume was his wife left the car I pointed out to him that they were in a parent and child space and needed a child with them to park there. After pretending he was hard of hearing and couldn't understand me he started irrationally screaming about how he and his wife are old and couldn't easily get in and out of his car. I recommended that instead he used a disabled persons space or maybe bought a car that was easier to get in and out of and not a sports car. After this he started hurling obscenities so I told him acting like a child doesn't qualify him as the "child" that can use the space.
This is a long story cut short.
Me and my family were driving on the A453 when this Golf comes steaming past us at over 100mph! My wife flashed them to slow down which they did. They then pulled right up to my window, and I kid you not, this bearded guy on the passenger side removed his top and pushed his chest onto the window. My kids started screaming which in turn nearly made my wife crash the car. It was not a good site! Very hairy. Please don't be this guy. Could have killed my family that day.
Disgusting Original Boring British Fat lad. Kept blocking me on the road. Called the police and was only fined which should have been arrested. I wish I had a dash cam for pics and proof. Hope someone who was behind my car had a dash cam could put evidence on this page. Police showed me his drugs. Idk if the photo uploads but I will try if it fails.
Young scrote in a Merc coming down from train station goes straight through red light at what was Waterstones. Showing off to his tart in the passenger seat I imagine.
Erratic young girl behind the wheel swerving all over the road to impress her βboyfriendβ in the next seat, along with speeding up dangerously close to my rear bumper - get a grip
Oi listen to me yeh ya dont know me yeh did me mam tell yuh bout me? She say any fuck about me nikkin a tenner out her purse or she pregnant me mam is with me baby it's the Asian lots faulting didn't mean to shag me mam it's the asian lots fault and the black lads told me I can hang with em cuz they shaggin me sister now I can think I'm mixed race when I hang with me boys cuz they need to stop shaggin me sis
This was my dear Robs car a number of years ago back when Rob was into his cars
He was a massive sharan enthusiast and so was I, I snuck round hers every weekend for some energetic flap sucking ah those were the days they are behind me now unfortunately
Just like the sharan was behind Rob when he left the handbrake off and it crushed his brittle body between it and my old astra
Iβm also required by law to inform users of this site that Iβm a registered sex offender with convictions for offences involving individuals below the age of consent. I also apologise for my aggression in my initial response to this post
PROUD WHITE
CUMSTAIN MAN
BUILD THE CUM
CUM ON IT
SNOWFLAKE
CUM AND CRANK IT
#PISSINMYASS
GET OFF MY ASS OR IβLL CUM
βοΈGOD BLESS CUMβοΈ
PATRIOTS UNITE
ITS TIME TO
FART ON MY BALLS!
CUM
STEP ASIDE GIRLS THE FEMBOYS ARE BACK
LIBERALISM IS A CUM DISORDER
BLUE CUMS MATTER
BUTT-CUM
Colorado
I would just like to apologise that I didn't shoot my load into a Kleenex like every other time. Why the fuck did I impregnate that cocksuckers mother? She was a fucking loony whore as well. Seriously, should've flushed my little swimmers down the toilet.
Had the pleasure of meeting this absolute thunder cunt near Reading Hospital this afternoon.
If you've ever been near Reading Hospital, the main road has three (one way) lanes.
The traffic was slow but flowing.
I'm in the left behind a bus and notice this guy weaving his way closer to us using all three lanes.
Suddenly he's in the middle lane, cutting off another car.
Then he's surged forward an inch off the bumper in front and then cut in front of the bus in front of me. Heavy braking follows.
He charges off, before coming up against some red lights.
Never fear, he goes left over a zebra crossing before doing an illegal turn to end up back on the main road, but past the red lights.
He's then weaving and narrowly missing cars the whole way down the road with his gangsta rap bellowing out.
Also, he either has no driver seat or is no taller than Warwick Davies. Could barely see his hat over the passenger window.
Luckily Thames Valley Police have a page to report dangerous driving on. Which my Dash Cam footage will back up.
We are coming for you. We have Highways Agency CCTV, the evidence as posted social media and that of 2 other drivers of events on the day. We have ANPR linking the vehicle to a known area in Kidderminster and a registered keepers address. You may presently have it hidden but the net is closing. Met Police & CPS will seek & recommend a custodial sentence for your actions. You can run but you cannot hide. We already have your name and a warrant has been issued for your arrest.
Looks like a every other chav inbred who listens to 50 cent and thinking hes a dealer but his mam only Bey's off the black and asian lads. His sister probably looks like a hollyoaks dropout whose got 3 mixed babies and another on the way
Driving down the M4 and a bunch of smelly sarnies fell out the back. Landed on my windscreen where it stank for the rest of my cars life, until I got fed up of the smell and scrapped it.
This young boy has huge road rage issues, he kicked off some other guys wing mirror but then got punched in the face like a bitch. He then fled the scene like a coward.
If you own this car please beware the gear box is fucked we bought it from glenavon motors maypole Birmingham he did not want to replace the gear box altho he said anything major goes come back the fat idiot did not replace and just bodged more.
This Eyewanker Decided to Chase my poor rover through a park, cut me off, and sent me straight into a fucking tree then dangerously drove and nearly hit 3 pedestrains, ending up rear ending a sign the 2 faced shmuck! reported to police
Bloody pakki named Mrs Singh
caused a crash by pulling out in front of me when her indicators where on the oposite way
bloody bastard.
will slit her tyres next time i see it
W537 UENMy Mum Is Fatter Than Your Life2024-01-21 00:35:28
Stupid old man loves going through the bushes over the road and blasting I Had Sex With My Dog while actually having sex with his dog in the front seat. I recommend if you want some weird looks from those drivers. He ran a red light the other day, and almost smashed into
a turning lane sign. Love the old toyota, good to see it playing Neil Diamond too.
Drives like an absolute dickhead, some middle aged guy with a receding hairline. One of those guys whoβs got a little finger for a d***. Drives a shitty Skoda must I say more?
Young chav lad with young chav girl in the front and some lanky lad in the back. Up peoples arses - weaving around on a country road and over taking 4 cars on a blind dip. Must have been going about 90mph. Wouldnβt mind but cars werenβt exactly going slow.... pushing his chavved-up Corsa to the max!
Another fine specimen, I supose you have a right to park in a disable bay if you cant even get out of your pyjamas, again people with no consideration for others?
This is one little boy with a major teenage attitude problem!
Decided to try and undertake a row of cars on the A34. I took my foot off the accelerator so that he couldn't, and ended up cutting up the car behind and driving past past and giving me one of the funniest gangstaaaa looks I have ever seen!
Kittens are more intimidating than you and your 11 year old shed!
This stupid juvenile pulled out on me when i was on my bike, it got all smashed up! I can't believe this stupid little juvenile did this! he didn't even indicate that he was gonna pull out. Juvenile.
I will make love to this beautiful pink boy I can easily have his beautiful orange skinned mother and pale princess of a sister but I want to make love to this pink person in picture. Come tu daddy worship my BBC like your girlfriend, mother, sister and beloved grandmother Becky does. I want my Becky
this maniac tried to force vehicles out of the way heading through the Hillhouse area of Hamilton. Then casts an evil stare over his NHS glasses. Please help bring this looney to justice!
1) people who say 'I'm gonna smack you up yeahhh' or any other such nonsense will NEVER actually do it due in part to number two....
2) This driver is clearly angry about having a microscopic penis. This also explains why he has fitted a loud exhaust on his car as this is a common solution sought by men with micro penises. The big/louder the exhaust the shorter/thinner the penis.
Male passenger chucks McDonalds bag out the window, scattering rubbish everywhere. McDonalds even have those bins you can throw into from the car! Waddon Retail Park. Absolute scum.
This guy's a specky cunt who don't look at roundabouts, overtakes where there aint space and blatantly smokes weed at the wheel.
Proper dangerous beardy cunt. Avoid at all costs.
Alreeght peeps?
Gotta Valentines day special this week init.
I can blow u 4 a fiver.
U can fist me shitter 4 10 notes.
Bum fun is still only Β£7.50 either way.
If u want me skanky crack addict bird 2 watch she will for a bag of pork scratchings, cider and a scratchie card.
Aint proud, will let any1 dump their load in me or eye can cum up ur fartbox or in ur gob.
Eye ave a large anus and can accommodate upto 6 water melons or 33 lemons.
Eye ave 3 inches of meat to poke ur hole wiv init.
Best banger in town.
If after a 3some let me no as me ma is always up for a good time init.
Call me 07907 485659.
Ave it ladz xmas is cumming..
This was my old friend Geraldine's car i haven't seen her since 2011 since my dear Rob passed away of cancer.
Speaking of mighty Geraldine we once had copious amounts of lesbian sex in the back of this car one night whilst the boys were at the darts! Geraldine kept dropping hints when they got back but Rob was none the wiser! Classic Geraldine. God I miss her flaps...
Richard I love your oversize cock and I want to ride you again.
Ever since I lost my husband I am insatiably craving big throbbing cocks like yours.
And then you are so rude to me I don't want to be treated mean. It would be good for you as well. I have had reconstructive surgery and my vaj is tighter than a duck's chuff underwater.
PROUD WHITE
CUMSTAIN MAN
BUILD THE CUM
SNOWFLAKE
FCINASDCRANKTE
#PISSINMYASSI E
PATRIOTS UNITE
GOU BLESS ITS TIME TO
FART ON MY
CUM
BALLS! UBERALISM IS A CUM DISORDER
BLUE CUMS MATTER
BUT. CON
The mods won't let me tell you about the time my dad let me watch him and mum have wild sex and she squirted everywhere it's not fair I think you'd like that a lot.
Owner tried to bum me in the back of his Ford escort van