Registration plate
Official local mnemonic:
North
Postal area: Stockton
Issued: between march 2017 and august 2017
Blue Volkswagen, manufactured in 2017, first registered on 1 May 2017. Cylinder capacity: 1984cc, CO2 emissions: 163 g/km.
✗ Untaxed Tax due: 1 June 2019
MOT: No details
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Oh, here we go again—another clueless cheapskate with a rusty tin can on wheels who thinks they’re outsmarting the system. Instead of forking out a few quid for a proper car park ticket at the train station like a functional human being, they decide to dump their clapped-out jalopy in a residential street, blocking driveways like they own the damn road.
Mate, your shitheap with mismatched panels and an exhaust louder than a jet engine isn’t some luxury ride that deserves "special treatment." You’re not some street-parking mastermind—you’re just tight. You had the cash to fill it with petrol (probably just £5 at a time like a true menace), but paying for parking? Oh no, that’s a step too far.
Meanwhile, the actual residents who pay council tax and don’t live life like a tight-fisted goblin now have to play Tetris just to get their own cars out. And don’t get me started on the absolute disaster zone you leave when you come back—squeezing into your beater with zero spatial awareness, taking seven attempts to reverse out while revving the poor engine like it’s got anything left to give. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
Honestly, if your car is so worthless that you can’t justify the cost of a parking ticket, maybe it’s time to stop driving altogether. Or better yet, if you can afford a train ticket, you can afford £3 to not be a selfish prat.
Sort it out.