This guy caused me some problems on my commute home. I was driving on the outside lane minding my own business when suddenly he pulled in front of me and slammed to a complete halt. I got out and approached the driver side window and said "alright cunt what's the problem," to which he replied "mate you got any gum?" I said fuck off mate I ain't your mate and no I ain't got any gum, he said "oh come on mate, I bloody love you," then he tried to climb out through the window and kiss me but he slipped and head-butted me on the chin and fell onto the concrete covered in his own dribble. At this point I looked into his car (Toyota)and on the passenger seat I noticed a pile of pirated DVDs (original Tomb Raider with Brad Pitt's wife) as well as a Southampton F.C. shirt. The worst part though was on the driver's seat itself, a heavily Vaselined and evidently well loved butternut squash had been fixed in place with duct tape for his enjoyment while blocking lanes of traffic. Other than that good driver good bloke, 8/10.
Shit on it