FFS, you gormless tart! If you can't drive along a straight road at more than 50% of the posted limit when its perfectly safe to do so then you need to seriously consider cutting your license in half and sending it back to the DVLA. Or you could put the bloody 'phone away and pay attention.
Look in your mirror; see that long line of vehicles crawling along behind you? That's all you, that is. At least one of them is being driven by someone who really needs to get home for a pee.
Speeding through a 30, overtook parked cars and knocked my mirror off as I was driving towards the cretin.