Why would you park like this? Because of your inconsiderate parking, it took several attempts to squeeze our car in.
Parking like this, you should not be on the road!
I've snorted lines that have went in neater than this. If you're as straight as your parking, your parents will give you the belt and banish you from their corner shop that sells multipack cokes as singles. Would be an absolute tragedy if something were to happen to only 3 of the tyres...or the HMRC were to get a tip off