Police won't get involved until there's a victim. Key the car and he will be told not to continue parking in such a manner that would cause his car to be "accidentally" damaged.
His choice if he wants to continue to pay finance on a car he can't afford instead of getting a house with a drive way...
Must have been sat on a car seat, because when he got out of the car he couldn't have been taller than 3'11, and at least 2 foot of that was the head. Inconsistent as hell, and being towed forwards by a larger tattooed fellow, and his ginger lesbian daughter.