Well where do I begin! It was a nice start to our day, we were heading down to Bournemouth with the kids in my 2009 Peugeot 206, out of nowhere we were stunned. Shocked. Flabbergasted. This hairdresser came shooting his way down the A31 towards Linford, his mahoosive winkle hanging out the window for everyone to see... including my kids! My youngest, Theodore, hasn’t stopped crying and I’ve been wet ever since the incident (yes, I’m divorced). That’s my weekend ruined! Hope you’re proud of yourself.
I didn’t really know how to react when I saw XXL Shlong zooming round like there’s no tomorrow. However after assessing the situation clearly, I spoke with the Citizens Advice Bureau. They helped me get an understanding of how to act next and I got a free Parker pen just for inquiring.
At the personal request of her majesty the queen and given the severe nature of the huge cock in question, we have taken over this case from Thames Valley Police and are now in charge of the investigation.
Try staying in your lane